Melissa (1995)

Also known as Secret Sins

And they should have fuckin' stayed secret!

According to some stories, the director started shooting this in 1995 and never finished, so this really isn't a movie at all. It is an aborted 1995 movie that was resuscitated nearly a decade later, presumably to use the existing footage to recuperate some losses on expenses already incurred.

I'm going to guess that the version available on DVD could be pared down to 40 minutes without missing one substantial element, but the running time was padded out to an 81 minute "movie" in the following way:

1) many scenes are shown again and again, sometimes in flashback sequences, sometimes just in the hope that you won't remember having already seen the footage before.

2) the running time is further padded out by adding a musical score to raw footage and outtakes. There must be five minutes of Nicole Eggert dancing around her new apartment as she unpacks her things. It is my guess that this would have provided five or ten seconds of footage if the film had been completed, but since the DVD running time needed padding, the director simply used everything he had.

3) I'm just guessing here, but my speculation is that the plot was re-written to whatever extent was necessary to accommodate the fact that only certain scenes had been filmed.

4) The missing parts of the plot were filled out at the end with the dreaded "word slides."

Two of the cast members are recognizable: Summer Quinn from Baywatch (Nicole Eggert) and Paulie Walnuts from The Sopranos (whatever the hell his real name is). Unsurprisingly, Paulie Walnuts runs a strip club. Eggert is the star of the film, a hopeful Broadway dancer who is supporting herself by working as a stripper in Paulie's fine establishment. She ends up getting arrested because there is a dead man in her bedroom, and she is found a block away grasping the murder weapon. The murder story is told in flashback from a framing story in which Eggert tells her psychiatrist and her lawyer the details of how her life led inevitably to the corpse in her bed.



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